whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
