she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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