Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
