David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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