You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
