alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize