the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
