love makes seman taste better
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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