Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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