so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is classic penis vs brain.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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