I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
