I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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