All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
