My hand turned me down
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
