Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
