"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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