I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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