I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
