Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
