***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
