Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
