First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
