is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
