ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
