you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
