i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I could make wine with my vomit
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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