I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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