In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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