I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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