then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
