I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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