Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
