why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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