Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
