Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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