i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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