Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
