If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
