I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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