alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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