Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
