You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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