she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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