dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
