Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
