love makes seman taste better
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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