she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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