The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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