I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
