Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
