If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
