Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
