You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
