I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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