Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
