im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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