I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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