right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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