I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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