Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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