well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
