And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Are we still banned from the library?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
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