how can u be prego again
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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