May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
