and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
