Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize