My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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