Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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