overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
