Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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