And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
